Yesterday, I went for a bike ride. It was as a part of Ciclavia, an event in Los Angeles that shuts down miles of Los Angeles streets to cars so that people can bicycle, skateboard, roller skate/blade, run, walk, etc. Long as it’s person and not motor powered, you can move about however you want. I’m a big fan of this Ciclavia. It’s an opportunity to safely explore areas of Los Angeles in a different way.
Or the miracle of quiet.
Growing up, I just had to live in New York City. I’d never been and I can’t remember how or when I came up with this idea. All I knew was it certainly wasn’t happening in the village of Greenbush, Michigan, whatever “it” was. NYC was where I’d make my mark. I came nowhere close to convincing my parents that this was a good idea and spent the entirety of my childhood in the sleepy little beach side village (Legit village. Not tiny city or town or whatever else you can call a place where people live together.).
We're often hurt in relationships. Unfortunately, this usually begins at a young age. Sometimes intentionally. But more so often because someone else was hurt before us and they’ve never healed from that. So we carry the generations of pain into our current relationships.
One thing I noticed in particular as I looked at these movements (whether big or small) is that the struggle between fear and courage is always at the forefront. As I made my way to present day, I reflected on how badly some people want a wall between the United States and Mexico. While I won’t pretend to know the first thing about border security, I do know that if we’re putting up walls, figuratively or for real, it’s because we’re afraid.
At one point in my life, when I was much less mindful, I googled the phrase “how to let go.” It was a lifetime ago, so I don’t remember what I was struggling to let go, but if I was asking google, I must have been struggling.
The google search didn’t turn up much that was useful.
That’s because, as I learned in the years since, there isn’t a set algorithm to letting go.
Awhile ago I wrote an article “How I Deal With People Who Suck.” At the same time I started an article entitled “How I Deal With the Suck.” When I say started, I mean that phrase is all I wrote. I thought after the last week and a half in my part of the world, it might be a good time to write the rest of it.
I try to keep it light (ish) here because therapy-stuff can be quite heavy at times and I don’t believe all healing and growth has to be so serious and weighty. But this is a day where I can’t do that. I started and stopped writing a number of other posts because they just didn’t seem right.
Societally, the division keeps growing and growing. Loneliness seems more common than deep connection. There’s very little actual listening going on. A lot of people don’t feel heard, understood, and supported. The powers that be or want to be need to make an effort to do this. Not just alienate those who don’t agree with them for a supposed win. You aren’t winning. No one’s winning.
There are many things in this world that are out of our control. Natural disasters, death, breakups, loss of a job to name some of the big ones. This can be a very difficult concept to accept and so we often fight against what is, which creates suffering.