Do the Right Thing

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I try to keep it light (ish) here because therapy-stuff can be quite heavy at times and I don’t believe all healing and growth has to be so serious and weighty. But this is a day where I can’t do that. I started and stopped writing a number of other posts because they just didn’t seem right.

Societally, the division keeps growing and growing. Loneliness seems more common than deep connection. There’s very little actual listening going on. A lot of people don’t feel heard, understood, and supported. The powers that be or want to be need to make an effort to do this. Not just alienate those who don’t agree with them for a supposed win. You aren’t winning. No one’s winning.

I’m not going to weigh in on the Supreme Court or specific politics because I don’t have the time to write a novel today. But the specifics aren’t the only thing that matters. The driving issues and concerns behind them are. Doing the right thing is.

Action needs to be taken. Action that supports everyone. I know we’re never going to all agree on everything but there used to be a more middle ground and some solid agreement around a golden rule. Or maybe just the appearance of such. Many of these issues that are now becoming so clear have existed for a long time and been swept under the rug.

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We’ve reached a time where a lot of people are over the status quo. Yet the few that benefit from it are fighting like mad to keep it. Out of fear. A belief in scarcity. That if they truly support all others in attaining their greatest lives, they’ll lose theirs. That those they’ve repressed will then repress them. Valid concerns when you know deep down you’ve mistreated others. Because if you’ve been a stand up human being, you have nothing to fear.

I can’t really say where I’m going with all this because I have many thoughts, many emotions. I’m sad that human beings hurt other human beings because they’ve been hurt by other human beings (or have no empathy due to frontal lobe damage). I’m angry that as a whole, we allow this. Our society rewards sociopathic tendencies: winning at all costs, narcissism, individualism to a fault, need for instant gratification, total selfishness. I’m confused because I don’t know exactly how to fix it other than live as best I can. I’m even hopeful at times because we can’t fix anything without getting to the crux of the problem and I think we are.

I am privilege to the innermost thoughts, feelings, and experiences of what seems to be a solid cross section of the diversity in our country. I learn more from listening to others than pretty much anything else. When someone fully trusts you (and knows you can’t share what they say with anyone else) you get true authenticity. Not just the image of authenticity social media influencers project.

It really comes down to that we all have fears and a universal desire to be loved unconditionally. We often recoil from others’ fears because they’re a mirror for our own. And who wants to face their own demons. But we have to if we want to understand others and create change. Change always has to come from within first. Getting angry at someone else, calling people names, not thinking critically, and blaming others, no matter what your beliefs are don’t do a damn thing. It doesn’t change anything. It only creates more of the same.

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We have to listen to and understand others’ fears and desires. Then we have to look for those within ourselves so we can understand. We don’t have to agree but we do need to understand. That’s the only path to unconditional love as cheesy as it may sound. Which again is all anyone wants. We just think money, power, and fame will get us that but are forever disappointed when they don’t.  

So how do we get there?

Meditate or pray depending on your beliefs (aka seek quiet and self-reflection). Go outdoors or another place you feel at peace. Take care of yourself. Speak honestly and openly with others (Those who agree and those who disagree with you.) Volunteer. Start your own project or movement. Write or create art. Holler at the powers that be. Those are some things that do create change. Positive change. We simply can’t keep doing the same old thing expecting different results. That’s insane.