The Insinkerator Was Half Full

 The Insinkerator!

The Insinkerator!

Today I fixed a garbage disposal! Might not seem like a big deal. It wasn’t a big deal. Super easy actually. But I’d never fixed a garbage disposal before. And I didn’t particularly want to fix it. The to-do list was way too long as it was and overwhelment threatened to consume me.

But the bf can’t work from home and it needed to be done, so off to Home Depot I went. All that dang thing needed was an Insinkerator wrench, which I didn’t even know existed before yesterday.

Side note, none of the Home Depot dudes (I say dudes because I saw no Home Depot dudettes on this particular trip.) knew this Insinkerator wrench existed either or had any idea where to find it. Good thing I’m a detective in my spare time and can find anything.

 The Insinkerator wrench. Just twist this thing back and forth in the Insinkerator if you ever run into the same problem I did.

The Insinkerator wrench. Just twist this thing back and forth in the Insinkerator if you ever run into the same problem I did.

Insinkerator wrench located. Drive back home. Insert wrench. Turn it back and forth a few times. Dig out metal from a measuring spoon and tiny screw. Leftover scraps be gone! Mind you we barely even use our Insinkerator since we have a dog. But nonetheless when they’re there they will disappear like magic.

So at this point I’m feeling an emotion I don’t know the name for. I know, I know, I’m a therapist, shouldn’t I know all the emotions? Well, either I don't or maybe it doesn’t exist in the English language.

I would say I feel proud but I don’t know if it’s pride exactly. It wasn’t a difficult task. More like a normal household chore. And I don’t pat myself on the back for folding laundry. Although maybe I should…

At any rate I experienced whatever the emotion is called that indicates that I switched from seeing the glass half empty to half full. I guess just straight up happiness since optimism isn’t an emotion. But it felt a little different.

I started out this experience pretty darn cranky. I really didn’t need another task on my list today. Particularly one that required driving anywhere. This led to getting sucked into my to-do list of things I don’t actually want to do but have to at some point anyway. As you can imagine crankiness continued.

But then as I turned that Insinkerator wrench, I turned my mind at the same time. I clearly saw that because of this task I added an experience to my life. And I love experiences. I love seeing new things. I love trying new things. I want to experience all life has to offer and sometimes feel sad when I think that I don’t know if that’s possible given the infinite amount of experiences that exist.

Since I love experiencing new things why would I ever dread any experience then? Why wouldn’t I embrace every experience as an opportunity to live life fully? I mean, if I’d kept throwing a grownup temper tantrum someone else would have done it. But then I never would have had the experience of fixing an Insinkerator.

Not every experience is fun or exciting. Or wholly fulfilling. Or happy. Or any other number of positive adjectives. Some experiences are ordinary or downright boring. Or painful.

Maybe seeing the glass as half full isn’t wholly about optimism (Although, hey if you can make lemonade I’ll definitely take a sip.). Perhaps it’s simply about being present with what is. The whole mindfulness thing. Because that’s what this whole life situation is all about. Actually experiencing it.