How I Deal With People Who Suck

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I really like people. Their eccentricities, their stories, their desire to connect, how we’re all so different and also exactly the same. I almost always have good experiences with human beings and I think it’s because I like them so much. Or maybe it’s just because I’m so incredibly awesome...

But enough about me. We’re here to talk about people who suck. Of which even with all my luck, I have encountered a few.

And it sucks. Royally. I find it quite difficult to deal with people who don’t respect me and my boundaries, blame me, call me names, go behind my back, gaslight, lie, cheat, steal, maim, etc., etc., etc. Okay, thankfully I haven’t experienced all of those but that’s essentially what I define as sucky behavior overall.

So how do I deal with people who suck?

I can start with not always so well. Sometimes it’s entirely foreign to me that someone would be a jerkface at all. It drives some of my loved ones nuts how trusting I am that all others will treat me with kindness.

At times I feel incredibly hurt. I question myself. I bemoan the unfairness of it all. I become angry. Sometimes resentful. I want revenge. But I’m either way too chicken, lack creative revenge tactics, or I rise above and remind myself that the greatest revenge is to live my best life. That last part isn’t usually as fun as the others.

When I make it through those initial reactions, I remind myself of some real truths:

It’s never actually about me.

If someone has a legit a problem with me and was truly concerned about it, they’d speak to me like a grownup. And we’d hammer it out.

They must feel really crappy about themselves.

It’s cliche for reason, hurt people hurt people. No one who’s fully confident in themselves and living their own best life hurts others and if they unintentionally hurt someone, they make amends.

Sometimes I laugh.

This one really pisses sucky people off. But that’s not why I do it. Rarely do they even know I’m laughing. I do it because sometimes the suck is so absurd the only thing to do is laugh.

I imagine them as a small child.

Since they’re acting so childish, they are essentially a child in that moment. Plus it’s way easier to forgive a chubby cheeked wide-eyed 3-year-old saying, “Nanny nanny boo boo” than the grown ass adult in front of you.

I remind myself they’re doing the best that they can.

I’m sure they are given their life circumstances, which I often don’t know anything about. They simply don’t know any better. Sucky people aren’t sucky on purpose. Unless they’re a sociopath/psychopath but that’s a whole other situation.

I feel grateful that I’m not them.

I mean, who wants to suck, right?! In all seriousness, though, I don’t want a life that causes me to treat other people poorly.

I struggle at times to rise above and take the high road. Sometimes you just want to give it right back to them. And the justice gene runs strong in me. I fully believe there are certain ways we should all treat each other. But at the same time I recognize not everyone has the same perspective of me and I can’t expect anything from anyone. I can only control myself so there’s that.