Gray is my spirit color.

Some of you might be scratching your heads. Especially if you know me in real life. I lean toward optimistic and energetic (most days). I love color in my clothing, in my art, in my life. And blue is actually my FAVORITE color.

But blue isn’t my spirit color.

I’ve put a lot of deep thought into this and mindfully chosen gray as my spirit color.

Okay, more accurately, the concept of a spirit color, much less that mine is gray, only just occurred to me in a passing thought. But I giggled so decided to write about it out of amusement.

So why is gray my spirit animal?

Well, as much as I love the color spectrum, gray is my new black, my favorite neutral. I want to paint all walls gray. It pairs really well with those bright colors I love. There’s a comfort in gray I don’t know I appreciated so much until I moved somewhere the sun shines most days. I find it hygge-y for you hipsters that are familiar with that term.

We had a couple gray mornings this week and whereas that puts many in a blah mood (Believe me, I’ve been there. Growing up in Michigan you can reach your tipping point of gray days.), I experience an extra sense of peace and desire to cozy up. The world seems quieter and urgency disappears.

Also, I think it’s my spirit color because I’ve always had an easier time than most seeing the grayness in life. Extremes, black and white, good and bad, right and wrong, have rarely made sense to me. I’m able to see all sides. Even if I don’t agree with a point of view, I still can see why someone has it. Probably a contributing factor in my chosen career.

This can drive some people bonkers!

“Just pick one!”

“How can you not see that I’m the one who’s right?!”

“Don’t you have any opinions?!”

To answer these real life questions I’ve received over the years:

“Why do I have to pick only one?” (This is why I love, love, LOVE potlucks and smorgasbords!)

“I see valid points on both sides.”

“And I have plenty of opinions. I just try to listen first and even if I disagree I can still often see the other point of view. Also, I usually reserve my opinions for when I know they’ll actually be heard.”

Seeing the gray drives me bonkers at times!

Black and white is a helluva lot easier. There isn’t as much to contemplate when there’s a definitive right and wrong. Making decisions is a lot quicker. Using your brain for too long can hurt.

But it can also cause a lot of issues. Friendships are lost. Connections aren’t made. Wars are fought over black and white thinking.

The truth is we don’t live in a black and white world. We live in shades of gray (sprinkled with a lot of fun, bright colors). Being stuck in polarities inhibits true living and experiencing of the world. We don’t see the actual truth(s).  

I didn’t delete my social media “friends” with differing political views because for one, I want to know where they are and what they’re thinking in case things get too out of hand.

Kidding!

Kind of.

But also, I didn’t delete them because I truly want to better understand how everyone thinks and why they think that way. It’s the only way to have productive conversations.

Most can’t stomach differing opinions because they think they’re being invalidated and they feel fear and shame.They think the other person is saying they’re wrong or bad by disagreeing with them.

This makes total sense. Most initial reactions to a disagreement is to judge the other person and make some smart alec comment or outright insult. That is invalidating.

However, it isn’t actually personal. They just aren’t able to initially see the other point of view and they feel threatened. So if no one can attempt to see the other point of view, both feel threatened. And the most dangerous thing that exists is fear.

There are plenty of times my initial urge is to smack someone right over the head. Luckily, because I really don’t want an assault charge and I attempt to practice mindfulness, I take a deep breath instead. I notice how uncomfortable my body feels, remind myself of how I want to show up in life, and do my best to listen and really get to their truth. This doesn’t mean we have to agree or change our opinions. Yet, often when we listen to another point of view, we find that we aren’t as polar opposite as we originally thought. And that everyone is capable of appreciating the gray in life.

What about you? Do you think more in black and white? Or is it easier to see the gray? What challenges and blessings does your way of thinking bring to your life?