Sometimes it’s really hard to be kind to ourselves or others. Maybe we’re judging ourselves or judging others. Maybe we’ve hurt ourselves, maybe others have hurt us, maybe we’ve hurt others. Maybe we’re having trouble forgiving ourselves or someone else. Whatever it is, love is not what we’re feeling. And even when we think we’re justified in those feelings, there’s still a part of us that knows we’re only hurting ourselves by holding onto such negative energy. We know it isn’t aligned with our true selves and we want to stop feeling so “bad.”
How to Shift from Judgment to Understanding and Create Positive Change
We’re all human. (Or, if you're not human and reading this, holla! We’re all living beings.) And to be human (and alive) is to make mistakes. We all make them, and that's perfectly okay. However, in our society, mistakes are often met with judgment. If you've grown up with judgment from others (who hasn't?), it’s easy to internalize this and start judging ourselves and others as well. With judgment comes shame—the fear of being excluded from the group. While this may have been a life-or-death issue when we were all hunters and gatherers, it’s more emotionally painful in our modern times.
How to Embrace Mistakes with Mindfulness and Self-Compassion
Finding Peace in Change: How to Control What You Can for a Happier Life
I’ve written quite a bit about change—not surprising for a therapist! Wanting change, fear of change, it’s pretty much the only reason any of us go to therapy. My most recent post about change we choose touches on how difficult change can be, but change that’s forced upon us—without choice—is a whole different ballgame.
Finding Joy and Mindfulness in Challenging Times: Strategies for Emotional Resilience
Life seems particularly extra these days. Between climate change impacts, social upheaval, and political tensions, the problems often feel overwhelming. The struggles of hopelessness, helplessness, and anxiety about the future is real. Sometimes, the urge to curl up in a ball and wait for someone else to fix everything seems like a legit course of action.
New Year, Real You: Embrace Your Authentic Self in 2025
New Year's Resolutions: Mindful Habits for Long-Term Success in 2025
All right, folks, it’s that time of year! The end of the current year, where we either celebrate with fancy outfits and cocktails or cozy up on the couch in pajamas. It’s the time when we enthusiastically prepare to set New Year’s resolutions, eager to start fresh.
Mindful Gift Giving: How to Make the Holidays More Fulfilling
Move Slow and Build Things: The Power of Mindfulness in a Fast-Paced World
The Healing Power of Nature: How Ecotherapy Can Improve Mental Health and Well-being
Gratitude in Times of Struggle: A Thanksgiving Reflection
And if all else fails, nature is always there to remind me of life’s beauty. The trees, flowers, oceans, mountains, and quiet moments in nature all fill me with a deep sense of peace. I’ve become particularly to birds’ songs, reminding me that as long as they are singing, we’re okay in this moment.
Staying Present in Difficult Times
How to Be Mindful of Emotions
So if emotions are SO useful, why have they gotten such a bad rap?
Well... to begin with they feel pretty freakin’ uncomfortable. As humans, we do whatever we can to avoid pain, which can be useful to our health and safety. It keeps us alive. But avoiding all discomfort can cause other problems.
We need the information that our emotions are communicating to us to have clarity, make useful decisions, and lead fulfilling lives.
Why We Have Emotions
How to Be Mindful When Being Interrupted (by Construction)
How to Deal With a Jerk
Something I didn’t address in my mindfulness of others post is how to be mindful when someone is being a real a-hole.
Now I know we’ve all had those moments.
When people aren’t willing to be mindful of us.
How to Be Mindful of Others
If we want healthy relationships with people, we have to practice mindfulness in our interactions with them, just as we would in all other areas of life. Deep down, we all just want to be loved and understood, and being mindful of others is how we’re able to both give and receive that love and understanding.
Feelings vs Emotions: What's the Difference?
Walking Can Be a Meditation
When most people hear the word mindfulness, they automatically think of meditation, which is one form of mindfulness. They also think that meditation is sitting incredibly still and incredibly silent. While that is a traditional seated meditation practice, meditation can be practiced in other ways too.
How to Make the Right Decision Every Time
Decision making can be a real pain in the arse sometimes. Italian or Mexican for dinner? Which route to work? Go to the party or go to bed? Look for a new job or stay with the current one? Get married? Have kids? Move to outer space? It’s endless. I tried to find research to see how many decisions we actually make in a day, but there doesn’t seem to be anything conclusive so I’m going with a whole heck of a lot.