Two girls lie in the grass, mindfully watching clouds and describing their shapes out loud with curiosity and imagination.
Welcome back to part 3 of our 7-part mindfulness series inspired by Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT)! In this article, we’re diving into the second “What” skill: Describing. It comes right after Observation and spoiler alert, it’s basically your brain’s favorite party trick: putting words to what you notice. The catch? We’re learning how to do it mindfully.
Describing is something we all do automatically. See a cloud? “That looks like a dragon.” Feel frustrated? “This sucks.” But mindful description asks us to go deeper. To name what we notice without judgment, assumptions, or dramatic flair (no offense to your inner storyteller).
Note: This isn’t to say there isn’t a place for storytelling. Storytelling is at the core of our human nature and serves a healthy purpose in healing and creative expression. It just isn’t what we’re doing here, so we’ll get into mindful storytelling another time.
Story telling is an important skill that facilitates deeper human connection, but it differs from the mindfulness skill of description.
Describing is about labeling reality as it is, not as we interpret it to be or wish it was. Think “I feel my jaw tightening,” rather than “This day is the worst.” See the difference? One grounds us in the moment; the other ramps up the drama.
Why Describing Is a Powerful Mindfulness Tool
Using mindful describing can:
Reduce emotional reactivity
Increase self-awareness
Help us respond rather than react
Ground us in facts instead of spiraling into stories
In other words, describing helps us anchor ourselves in the now and not in our assumptions, fears, or projections.
How to Practice the DBT Describing Skill (Without Becoming a Robot)
Name What’s Happening—Just the Facts
Mindful describing means narrating what you're experiencing without adding meaning, judgment, or interpretation.
Mindful describing can help in so many situations, including sharing physical symptoms with your doctor—no medical degree required.
“Anger is building in my chest.”
“My hands are shaking.”
“The thought ‘I can’t do this’ just popped up.”
Notice we’re not saying why something is happening or assigning value to it. We're just stating what’s true in this moment.
Practice Describing External Experiences
Start small. Head outside or people watch from your favorite café. Here are a few practices to get you started:
Cloud-watching: Lie down and describe the cloud patterns (without turning it into a game of "what animal do you see").
Park bench activity: Describe one observable detail about each person who walks by—color of jacket, pace of walking, hairstyle, etc.
Nature deep dive: Pick up a flower or pebble. Describe its texture, shape, temperature, and color with as much detail as possible.
Facial expressions: Notice how a friend’s face changes when they’re expressing different emotions. What’s their forehead doing? Their eyes? Their mouth? Avoid making assumptions like “They’re mad at me.” Instead, go for: “Their eyebrows are furrowed and their mouth is in a tight line.”
Practice Describing Internal Experiences
This one takes courage and practice. You're becoming a curious observer of your own mind and body:
“A feeling of nervousness is rising in my chest.”
“I feel warmth in my face after hearing that comment.”
“When you said X, I felt Y, and I noticed the thought Z.”
Describing our experiences clearly, whether quietly or with a bullhorn, helps us to be heard and understood in any situation.
Describing your inner world this way can help you separate fact from emotional fiction, reducing the heat of the moment.
Practice Describing Your Breath
Ah, your breath, the trusty, always-accessible mindfulness anchor. Try these simple practices:
As you inhale, say: “I am inhaling, one.” As you exhale: “I am exhaling, one.” Then do that to the count of ten.
When deepening your breath: “I am breathing in a long inhalation.” “I am breathing out a long exhalation.”
This kind of internal narration brings you back to your body and helps slow things down when your brain wants to hit fast forward.
Bonus Tip: Be a Mindfulness Scientist
Pretend you’re a scientist observing your own human experience. Get curious. Get detailed. Keep judgment out of the lab report.
Instead of: “This meeting is a disaster,”
Try: “My heart is racing, and the thought ‘I’m not prepared’ just came up after someone asked me a question.”
In the lab, scientists practice mindful observation and description as they examine data. This practice can be applied in our daily life as well.
Describing like this gives you a centered, grounded foundation from which you can respond more wisely, rather than react impulsively.
Just Say It Mindfully
Describing isn’t about being overly analytical or dry, it’s about creating space between what happens and how we respond. When you describe your experiences mindfully, you begin to understand them more clearly. And from that clarity, change is possible.
So go ahead, name what you notice. Just leave the assumptions at the door.
Written by Amanda Stemen, MS, LCSW