We’re all familiar with the phrase: “New year, new you.” But let’s be real for a second—how many of us actually feel the pressure to completely change ourselves just because the calendar flipped? As a recovering self-help junkie, I can’t even begin to tell you how many books, articles, videos, and podcasts I’ve consumed over the years. I thought I needed to work on myself and improve everything about me all the time because isn’t that what growth is? Really, it was a cover for avoiding feeling the shame I felt in thinking I wasn’t good enough as is. Eventually, I realized, I could pursue growth without needing to be fix anything. I simply needed to be myself. So, I’m here to challenge that mantra with a new one for 2025: “New year, real you.”
It’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking we need to change because there’s something wrong with us. Society loves to feed us that lie, doesn’t it? We’re constantly told that we need to buy something, change something, or become something we’re not to fix ourselves. It’s a sneaky tactic that drives consumerism and gets us to waste money on stuff that doesn’t actually do what it promises. And our families and friends buy into that crap and reinforce it with their “just a suggestions.”
Here’s the thing: You’re already enough. Sure, we all have room to grow, and there are definitely things we do or think that can hold us back. But the truth is, everything you’ve done up until now has served a purpose—even if it doesn’t anymore. And often, we do things to hide parts of ourselves that others have told us are "wrong" or "unacceptable" because of their own insecurities. So, instead of an entire overhaul, what is actually needed is to reconnect with the real you.
Get that authenticity, girl!
So, who is this authentic version of you? And how the heck do you get back to them? As I said I’ve been there (and am still there often enough), so let me break it down, step by step, and soon you’ll live your best, most mindful life for yourself and the world around you.
1. Take Care of Yourself: Your Basic Needs Matter
First things first: you definitely can’t be your true self if you’re running on empty. Self-care is non-negotiable, and I’m not talking about those expensive spa treatments. (Though, hey, treat yourself if you can and it supports your best self. And they don’t have to be expensive.) I mean the basic stuff. It all starts with:
• Eating foods that fuel you—not just junk that leaves you crashing. As a grownup who loves themselves some candy, this can be challenging, but we all know what feels good in our bodies and what doesn’t.
• Moving your body in ways that feel good—forget forcing yourself into the gym or lame workout routine if it’s not what your body wants. All movement is exercise. Do the stuff that’s fun.
• Drinking high-quality H2O—hydration is key to mental clarity. And amazing skin!
• Getting deep sleep—because waking up tired is no way to show up as the best version of you. Also, amazing skin!
All living things need their basic needs tended to in order to thrive.
• Spending time in nature—whether that’s taking a walk or run outside, gardening, or just chilling with some plants, connecting with nature is grounding. Hug that tree!
When you’re feeling healthy and nourished, without distractions or stress holding you back, your real self naturally shines through.
2. Face Yourself: Time to Look at the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly
I know it’s hard, but you’ve gotta face the parts of yourself you’ve been avoiding. What scares you? What makes you angry, sad, or envious? We all have these feelings that we’d rather keep hidden, but are actually helpful to acknowledge (Link blog post). Plus avoiding them doesn’t make them go away. Instead, that feeds them. They fester and grow into something even bigger and more uncomfortable.
But here’s the good news: the only way out is through. So, face those fears head-on. Get comfortable with being uncomfortable. When you look at what scares you and really sit with it, that’s when you begin to heal and release the stuff that’s been weighing you down.
3. Quiet the Noise: Go Within
In a world where everyone has an opinion (and most of them are unsolicited), it’s easy to lose track of who you are. But here’s the trick: you don’t need everyone’s advice. You just need your own. So, take time to get quiet and reconnect with yourself. What are your values? What’s your purpose? When you live in alignment with those things, that’s when the magic happens.
Go within, find the stillness, and the real you.
• Find your purpose by doing what feels aligned with who you are.
• Align your actions with your values—no more trying to please everyone else.
• And don’t listen to too many people, especially those who have no business giving you advice in the first place. (Notice, I said “too many” not zero. If you have people you trust with your life and think you could benefit from their knowledge and wisdom, hit ‘em up. But ultimately, trust yourself.)
The more you listen to your inner wisdom, the more you will find the real you.
4. Revisit Your Childhood: Who Were You Before Society Told You Who to Be?
Ever notice how kids are so unapologetically themselves? They sing, dance, and play without a care in the world. Even when they’re astonishingly horrific at it, you’d think they were starring in a Broadway show! That is who you really are before life starts telling you to “tone it down” or you’re not good enough. So, let’s take a step back and revisit that pure, unfiltered version of you.
• When did you feel the most free as a child?
• What did you love doing?
• Who did you dream of becoming?
The answers to these questions will give you some major clues about who you really are deep down. And guess what? You don’t have to completely leave that childlike joy behind. Play and curiosity are just as important for adults.
5. Play More: Don’t Forget to Have Fun
We tend to forget about play as we get older. We get so wrapped up in responsibilities and adulting that we forget how much fun it is to just let go. But play is vital for our well-being at any age. It sparks creativity, reduces stress, and reminds us of the joy of living.
So, go ahead:
• Do something silly.
• Laugh more.
• Host a game night or day.
• Create something.
• Let loose in whatever way brings you joy.
This is a powerful way to bring back your authentic self and feel more aligned with who you are.
6. Be Brave: Stepping Into Your Real Self
Living as your authentic self can feel like the scariest thing ever. Seriously, I’d rather jump off a cliff. Which I have done... Vulnerability is freaking hard. It’s all about showing up as who you truly are, warts and all, without knowing how others are going to respond to you. But here’s the thing: that first tiny step? It’s worth it. And once you take that step, the next one gets easier.
• Start small—take one little risk at a time. Maybe it’s speaking your truth, or setting a boundary, or trying something new. Start doing this with someone safe and supportive.
• Celebrate every teeny tiny win. Each step closer to being your true self is a victory.
Fear won’t disappear entirely, but as you become more mindful of it, you’ll notice it holds less power over you.
You know what to do.
So, How Do You Know When You’re the Real You?
The real you feels like home. It’s that deep, centered feeling where you’re calm, at peace, and just present. It doesn’t mean you’re always happy or content—there’s still space for all the emotions—but there’s an underlying sense of alignment.
You’ll know you’re living as your authentic self when you feel renewed, grounded, and present in your life. That’s the magic of living mindfully.
Embrace the Real You in 2024
Here’s the bottom line: You don’t need to change yourself. You just need to reconnect with your true self and live in alignment with who you are. Sure, we can always benefit from support and guidance, but the most important thing is building trust in yourself. And if that’s hard? Get help. That’s a for sure first, vulnerable, and brave step.
Forget about becoming someone else in the new year. Instead, focus on being the real you—it’s time to let that version of you shine.