Feeling overwhelmed by constant pings, messages, and digital noise? You’re not alone. Most of us are swimming in electronic communication every day, and mindfulness can help bring us back to center.
We’ve already explored technology overuse and addiction, and how to be more thoughtful and responsible in our use of it overall. Now, in the third and final installment of our Mindful Technology Use series, we’re diving into something we often overlook: how to be more mindful of our electronic communication (EC).
Sometimes we forget we’re still living in digital technology’s infancy. It seems like texting, email, social media, and Slack have existed forever, but really, they’re just an eensy-weensy blip in the whole span of human communication. Because of that, we’re still very much in the trial-and-error stage of navigating life with modern technology, especially when it comes to communicating with one another. As if face-to-face communication wasn’t challenging enough!
So, here’s my guide for how to be more mindful in our electronic communication as the tech-using humans we are.
1. Start by noticing your physical sensations when communicating electronically
Mindfulness always begins with awareness, especially awareness of your body. Pay attention to how you feel physically when you send or receive electronic communication. Our feelings synthesize all the subconscious information our brains have been collecting, based on schemas created to help us move through the world more efficiently.
Pausing before we hit “send” gives us space to breathe, check in with our body, and make sure our response reflects intention rather than impulse.
That’s helpful… until it isn’t. When something feels off, tension, tightness, apathy, dread, that’s your body signaling that you need to take a closer look at what’s happening.
If you’re feeling relaxed or joyful, great! Keep on keeping on. But if you’re noticing any stress, anxiety, or disconnection, take a moment to get curious about why you’re feeling that way while communicating electronically.
2. Pause before sending any electronic communication
A simple pause is one of the most powerful mindful digital wellness practices you can build. Pausing gives you space to feel your feelings, check the facts, and step out of reaction mode. When we feel anxious or angry, our responses tend to be impulsive, and impulsive messages rarely improve a situation. Think about how often drunk texting turns out in our favor!
Pausing also prevents us from turning mundane issues into faux emergencies, creating a constant sense of urgency that doesn’t actually increase productivity (Deep Work fans, you know what I mean) or connectivity. A mindful pause grounds you in the present moment and allows you to communicate thoughtfully and intentionally.
3. Get clear on the purpose of your communication
A little reflection goes a long way in cultivating healthy electronic communication habits. Helpful questions include:
Is this message necessary? If so, why?
If I’m asking a question, have I genuinely tried to find the answer myself?
Is the person I’m messaging the most appropriate person?
Is now the right time to send this message?
Being intentional with your communication saves everyone time and energy, and increases the respect others have for your clarity and boundaries.
4. Set boundaries around communication (for yourself and others)
There’s a real sense of freedom that comes from setting digital communication boundaries. When we choose intentional connection over constant availability, we create more space for clarity, calm, and the moments that actually matter.
With so many platforms pinging us constantly, it’s becoming harder and harder to do deep, meaningful, transformative work. We get interrupted by non-urgent messages because it’s so easy to reach someone instantly. Once upon a time, you had to walk down the hall, make a phone call, or schedule a meeting. You had to decide if the effort was worth it.
Now? Two seconds and a half-formed thought can slide into someone’s inbox.
Setting digital communication boundaries protects your energy, your focus, and your mental health. Examples:
Create time windows for communication.
Only during work hours. Never before 9 AM. Never after 8 PM. Emails checked only three times a day. Devices in the other room during dinner. Weekends off.
Decide what works for you by tuning into how your body feels.Clarify who should be contacted about what.
You might not be the right person for certain issues. Directing people elsewhere saves everyone time (including yours).Clarify responsibilities.
Clear expectations at home or work reduce unnecessary check-ins.If you're supervising others, empower them to problem-solve.
Build confidence so you don’t become the default Answer Machine for every tiny question.Don’t feel obligated to respond immediately.
Most things are not truly urgent. Let people sit with their own anxiety. It builds resilience.And yes, sometimes, you don’t need to respond at all.
Spam. Cold DMs. Unsolicited emails. Strange “maybe real” inquiries. You don’t owe anyone your time or attention.
5. Mindful Social Media Recommendations
People often find themselves endlessly scrolling without realizing how it affects their energy and mood. Practicing mindful social media use helps turn passive consumption into intentional engagement.
Best rec: Don’t use it at all?
(Says the person who uses it… I know, I know.) Social media rarely fosters real connection in the way companies claim. If the emotional or energetic cost exceeds the benefit, ditch it.If you need social media for work or still want to use it for fun, use it intentionally.
Be mindful of who you follow. Many accounts aren’t thoughtful, creative, or beneficial. And yes, there are many bots pretending to be humans.
If something doesn’t feel good, not “helpful uncomfortable,” but truly draining or misaligned, don’t consume it.
6. Set mindful limits for social media use
Limit your time.
The average social media users spend 2.5 hours per day scrolling. That’s a lot of life energy for minimal reward. Stay present as you use it and pay attention to your body. When you feel bored, tense, or overstimulated, get off. Personally, I top out at about five minutes before I get antsy.Don’t read the comments.
Bots. Trolls. Misinformation. Chaos. Enough said.If you feel better after using social media, great.
If you don’t, get the heck out.
7. But what about FOMO?
A very human question. No one likes missing out. Or what if your boss dislikes your boundaries? What if your friends think you’ve forgotten them? What if family worries? What if you misread the urgency?
All very real concerns, but so is the reality that we are always missing out on something. Every choice means choosing one thing and not another. The goal is to make choices that protect what’s truly important to you.
Moments away from screens remind us what real connection feels like. Choosing time offline with the people we love helps restore balance, presence, and the kind of joy no notification can deliver.
Here’s the thing: most people feel overwhelmed by the sheer number of communication tools we have. Many will feel relieved by your more intentional approach. Some may even be inspired to adopt healthier digital habits themselves.
And if the people in your life don’t support your boundaries, it may be time to reassess those relationships.
Ultimately, mindful electronic communication is about feeling more grounded, relaxed, and fulfilled. Try these practices and notice whether they create a more rewarding digital communication experience for you.
Written by Amanda Stemen, MS, LCSW