So if emotions are SO useful, why have they gotten such a bad rap?

Well... to begin with they feel pretty freakin’ uncomfortable. As humans, we do whatever we can to avoid pain, which can be useful to our health and safety. It keeps us alive. But avoiding all discomfort can cause other problems.

We need the information that our emotions are communicating to us to have clarity, make useful decisions, and lead fulfilling lives.

So how do we get more comfortable with the more uncomfortable emotions?

All we have to do is notice the emotion or emotions we’re experiencing in the moment.

Try it right now.

First, observe where in your body you’re feeling physical sensations that may be related to your emotions. They could be in your head, your jaw, shoulders, chest, stomach, or some other body part.

Be present with them and experience those sensations as fully as you possibly can.

Notice that they come and they go, like clouds in the sky or waves in the ocean.

The point is to try not to get rid of them or push them away.

But also don’t try to hold onto them and keep anything around any longer than it needs to be.

And don’t make anything bigger than it is by thinking too much about it.

Now, while we don’t want to get caught up in our thoughts, it can be helpful to label the emotion based on the physical sensations we’re experiencing. So for example, if we’re feeling a tightness in our chest, increased heart rate, and some trembling we might be feeling afraid.

This recognition of a specific emotion in and of itself, can often lead to less discomfort.

Continue to observe the emotion to see how long it takes for it to change and eventually decrease in intensity. Do this no matter how uncomfortable and unpleasant it is so that you’ll notice that it does decrease and eventually disappear.

So what if your mind wanders to thoughts or other things outside of your body?

That’s fine! And totally normal.

When this happens just notice that, but don’t get caught up and gently bring your attention back to your body.

Remember, you are not your emotions.

Don’t judge them, over identify with them, or make up stories about them. Simply experience them as they show up.

And don’t necessarily act immediately on your emotions.

Sit with them long enough to get information from them and decide from a calmer place whether or not to act on them and how to best act on them.

That is, if you can.

Obviously, if a lion is chasing you down, you better get to running and hiding rather than staying put to feel the physical sensations of fear. But I’ll get more into how to know when to act on an emotion and when not to in another article.

If an emotion is particularly uncomfortable, remind yourself that you have felt differently and that no emotion lasts forever.

Hard as it may be, try to be grateful for and accept them as they come and go. Even the ones you judge as “bad” or you don’t like. Because they ARE giving you important information.

Also, if you don’t notice any physical sensations or are not having an emotion that’s okay too. We aren’t always feeling an emotion so simply notice whatever is.

Observing the physical sensations in your body and your emotions is a great practice to do throughout the day, as a way to check in with yourself. Even if you only do this one time a day you’ll start to notice a difference. Paying attention to our feelings and emotions rather than avoiding them leads to greater clarity, better decisions, more peace and calm, connection with others, and an overall higher quality life. And who doesn’t want that?!