Mindfulness IRL
So if emotions are SO useful, why have they gotten such a bad rap?
Well... to begin with they feel pretty freakin’ uncomfortable. As humans, we do whatever we can to avoid pain, which can be useful to our health and safety. It keeps us alive. But avoiding all discomfort can cause other problems.
We need the information that our emotions are communicating to us to have clarity, make useful decisions, and lead fulfilling lives.
Something I didn’t address in my mindfulness of others post is how to be mindful when someone is being a real a-hole.
Now I know we’ve all had those moments.
When people aren’t willing to be mindful of us.
Every single year, the third Monday in January is a day to honor Martin Luther King, Jr. and his legacy. Most often, I hear people talk about how excited they are to have this day off work or school. While you can’t hate on that, the day is actually the only federal holiday designated as a national day of service. This means that the MLK Day of Service is intended to be a "day on, not a day off." According to the Corporation for National & Community Service, the day is meant to “empower individuals, strengthen communities, bridge barriers, create solutions to social problems, and move us closer to Dr. King's vision of a ‘Beloved Community.’”
We often think of mindfulness as only focusing on exactly what’s happening in the present moment. However, the definition that’s used in mindfulness research is “the self-regulation of attention with an attitude of curiosity, openness, and acceptance.” This is helpful because at times it’s necessary for our attention to be focused on the past and/or preparing for the future. If we never reflect on our thoughts, feelings, behaviors, and experiences, we’d never learn from them. And if we never thought about our hopes, dreams, and plans for the future we’d have nothing to live for.
Acceptance has been on my mind more than usual lately as I’ve struggled to accept certain things in my life and the world as a whole. I’ve also noticed people around me and society as a whole struggle to accept what is. Through these observations, I realized that even though I’ve mentioned acceptance in many of my writings, I’ve never actually defined it or gone into much depth as to what I mean when I say acceptance.
Listening seems like it should be the easiest thing to do. If we’re lucky enough to have our hearing intact, we take sounds in all day long, whether we want to or not. Isn’t that listening?
Not exactly. That’s hearing. Aka perceiving sound. Listening is paying attention to what is heard. Much more difficult.
Mindful confession: I’m writing this as I watch the NCAA men’s basketball final. Or more accurately, I’m trying to write and finish this during halftime. I don’t have high hopes I can do that in 15 minutes, but I’m willing to give it a shot.
Starting to write while watching basketball got me thinking about the irony. One of the keys to practicing mindfulness is to do one thing at a time.
I don’t know about y’all, but my Monday started with a bang!
I woke before sunrise and am booked straight up until well past sunset tonight with work stuff. When I’m this busy with little space in between activities, I don’t always function at my highest level. Knowing this, I decided I needed some intentional breathing during each transition today and I wanted to share one in particular with you.
This morning I went to the gym. Not entirely unusual as I’m making it a habit to do so. Even though I despise gyms! Okay, that’s a slight exaggeration. I can think of worse places to spend my time. Jail. Nuclear reactors. Office meetings. But since I don’t own a bunch of weight equipment and I’ve realized the importance of body building (Or simply to build stronger muscles to avoid injury from other more fun physical activities.), I got a gym membership.
The painted ladies have taken over Southern California! I’ve seen them flitting about, showing off their gorgeous wings all over LA. I can’t tell you how many times a day I’ve stopped whatever I’m doing to simply gaze at them and take this special experience in.
A body scan meditation is a mindfulness practice that brings awareness to the body in the present moment. It focuses on the physical sensations we feel in every part of our body. It can be done in a short amount of time if needed to reduce intense emotions. Or it can be practiced for a lengthier amount of time (30-40 minutes) to delve deeper into mindfulness practice and create more peace and awareness overall.
I’ve always liked having choices. I enjoy a lot of things so I want the option to experience all of those things. But I’ve gotten to a point in life where I’ve become overwhelmed with options and instead of making choices, I’m paralyzed by the thought of having to make a choice. Or maybe life has become overwhelming with options…
Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about thinking. Which might not be the best idea since thinking can get us into a lot of trouble.
I just can’t help it. I work a lot with thoughts. That’s a major part of being a therapist (Besides the emotions, which I know y’all can’t get enough of.). “Tell me what you think about that,” “Are there any other ways to look at that,” “How can you reframe that?” The more I work with thoughts (Mine and those shared with me.), the more I question our relationship with them.
One thing I noticed in particular as I looked at these movements (whether big or small) is that the struggle between fear and courage is always at the forefront. As I made my way to present day, I reflected on how badly some people want a wall between the United States and Mexico. While I won’t pretend to know the first thing about border security, I do know that if we’re putting up walls, figuratively or for real, it’s because we’re afraid.
