The beach is one of nature’s greatest invitations into mindfulness—each wave a rhythmic reminder to return to the present moment. In this image, the serene shoreline mirrors the spaciousness we can access when we pause, breathe, and ground ourselves in the now.
I recently realized that as much as I talk about the importance of being mindful, I haven’t been super mindful about explaining what the heck mindfulness actually is—or how to do it. Oops.
Turns out, I committed the cardinal sin of mindfulness: assuming. I figured that since “mindfulness” is trending all over the place these days, everyone must already know what it means. But come to find out… not so much.
Let’s clear it up.
Mindfulness Is Not Just Yoga on Instagram
Contrary to popular belief, mindfulness is NOT doing crow pose in a bikini on a beach while someone snaps a filtered photo for social media. (Although if that’s your thing, no judgment.)
Mindfulness isn’t a product, a trend, or a performance.
So, Then What Is Mindfulness?
Mindfulness is the practice of fully attending to the present moment—without judgment—and accepting it for what it is. That’s it. No incense required. No fancy cushions. Just being where you are, as you are.
Okay, cool. But… how do you actually do that?
The Basics: What You Do & How You Do It
I find it funny to break mindfulness down into anything more than “just be present” since that’s really all it is, but I also get that sometimes you need a little more than that. Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) has the best breakdown I’ve come across, with two simple components:
What you do, and how you do it.
What You Do: Observe, Describe, Participate
(Done Separately, but often in quick succession)
How You Do It: Nonjudgmentally, One-Mindfully, Effectively
(Done Simultaneously)
Let’s dive into each:
Observe
Simply notice what’s happening right now. Inside you. Around you. The sensations in your body. The thoughts in your head. The sounds, sights, and energy in the space you’re in.
Just notice. Don’t label it. Don’t analyze it. Just observe—like a baby experiencing the world for the first time.
Describe
After observing, your brain will naturally want to put things into words. That’s okay. Just try to keep your descriptions factual. Think like a journalist or a scientist. Stick to the who, what, where, when.
If opinions creep in (which they will), just name them:
“I’m thinking that this is boring.”
“I’m hoping this blog post ends soon.”
Cool. Noted. That’s mindfulness.
Participate
Go with the freakin’ flow. Do what the moment calls for. If you’re dancing, dance. If you’re working, work. If you’re crying, cry.
Be fully in it. No second-guessing. No distractions. Just participate like your life depends on it—because, honestly, it kind of does.
Nonjudgmentally
This one’s tough. We judge everything without realizing it. But being mindful means dropping the “good vs. bad,” “right vs. wrong” labels. Just allow things to be as they are.
You can still have preferences—mindfulness isn’t about being passive—it’s about accepting reality without adding extra commentary.
And hey, if you catch yourself judging… congrats! You just noticed a judgment. That’s mindfulness. Now, try not to judge your judgments.
One-Mindfully
Do one thing at a time.
When you eat, eat.
When you talk, talk.
When you stress, stress. (Yup, even worry can be mindful.)
This doesn’t mean you can’t switch between things—it just means doing one thing at a time on purpose. It’s not about perfection. It’s about presence.
Effectively
Be aware of your goals in the moment and do what works. That’s it.
Effectiveness doesn’t always feel good or look impressive. But it’s grounded in wisdom:
“What do I need to do right now to move toward what matters?”
Do that. Even if it’s uncomfortable. Even if it’s hard.
Mindfulness Is a Practice, Not a Performance
And most importantly—have fun with it. Play around with being present. Don’t force it. Don’t try to “get it right.” If mindfulness feels hard, you’re probably trying too hard.
The moment you realize you’re not being mindful… guess what? You’re being mindful again!
So really, you can’t mess this up.
Want more real-life mindfulness tools, tips, and stories? Read more of this blog, subscribe to A Mindful Minute reminder, or if you’re into videos, check out the Mindfulness IRL YouTube channel.
Written by Amanda Stemen, MS, LCSW