I think this best expresses how I feel about Halloween.
Halloween is one of my favorite holidays ever (Tied with or just behind Thanksgiving. I can never decide.). The opportunity to be someone or something else, spiking that adrenaline with a little (or big) scare, and candy, lots of candy. Also, it usually doesn’t come with the same loaded issues other holidays bring up. It’s just plain fun.
A couple years ago, I wrote a blog post on how to Halloween hard as a grownup and since I’m all out of writing inspiration at the moment with Halloween occupying a ridiculous amount of my brain space, I’m going to expand upon that. I mean, letting loose and having some good, clean fun is about as therapeutic as it gets. And what better time to do that than a holiday that’s designed exactly for that.
Also, this serves as a bit of a confessional as I haven’t Halloween’d hard this year. Actually probably for a few years now. This time of year is usually quite busy with responsibilities and obligations (Ugh, being a grownup!) so I haven’t gotten my fill of haunted houses, scary movies, hayrides, and pumpkin carving. As in, I’ve done none of that and Halloween is in less than a week! The only thing I’ve gotten more than my fill of is Halloween candy. I saw an awesome deal at Costco and made the obvious mistake of buying the bags at the beginning of October. We all saw it coming.
Despite being a boring adult for most of this month, I am still the self-proclaimed queen of Halloween. I’ve thrown my fair share of solid Halloween parties dating back to the 4th grade when really Mom did all the work and made headstones with my classmates’ names on them and stuck them in the garden. I’m pretty sure there were peeled grapes for eyeballs too. And Halloween costumes, fuhgeddaboudit, no one beats me.
That being said, I’d like to share some of my self-proclaimed brilliant Halloween ideas and memories from the past in hopes to inspire you (and myself) to enjoy yourself some Halloween this week.
Lay me down on a bed of pumpkins.
On Decorating
Okay, I did decorate this year too. In Halloweens past I’ve gone more gawdy with large decorations and strewn cobwebs everywhere, annoying the taller people in my life, but this year subtle was the theme. I dropped the cobwebs in your face look and incorporated some “classier” Halloween decor (If that’s such a thing.) into our normal aesthetic and I’m feeling it. Much of it will also double for traditional fall/Thanksgiving decor so extra winning over here!
On Pumpkin Patches
These aren’t as cool out here in Los Angeles as back in my home state of Michigan, but they do the best they can. Where I grew up, pumpkin patches were simply fields of pumpkins that actual farmers grew. You could pretty much walk to one no matter where you lived. I remember one particular good time going to Uncle John’s Cider Mill with my college soccer teammates and running around like the children we still were, picking out the perfect pumpkin, drinking cider, and eating donuts.
On Carving Pumpkins
I feel the same way about carving pumpkins as I do costumes. The more creative, the better. My favorites have been a pumpkin puking its guts out and a Picasso pumpkin. Every year I carve something different, while watching a scary movie, and try to keep it from rotting by the next day. This wasn’t something I ever had to worry about as a child, but in southern California, it’s currently 90 degrees. Luckily, I came across this handy dandy guide to preserving carved pumpkins and I’m going to try every single one of these tips out.
On Haunted Houses
I’ve been to my fair share of haunted houses. Usually I find them pretty lame. When you’ve done enough, you can easily figure out when someone’s going to jump out at you. But I still have a good time and can figure out ways to scare myself if I have to.
Two of the best I’ve ever been to are Netherworld, near Atlanta, GA and last year, The 17th Door, which is hands down the best one I’ve ever been to. For those that don’t live in those areas, hopefully this guide to the nation’s best haunted houses will help you find one closer.
Waited in line for over 3 hours to go into this It-themed haunted house. Not worth it, but cool photo.
One of my favorite memories related to haunted houses is in college when my roommates and I decided to volunteer for a local nonprofit hosting a haunted forest. For three straight evenings we donned freaky costumes and a lot of scary makeup, only to have it called off every single night due to a bunch of rain. Still, each evening we dressed back up. I have no recollection of what we did instead of scaring children, but the dressing up was still a lot of fun.
On Scary Movies
I’m more of a psychological thriller scary movie person. I want to think it could actually happen to me or else the fear doesn’t fully set in. Slasher, blood, guts, and gore just gross me out and I have to cover my eyes for much of the movie. Some of the ones that do it for me every single time are “The Shining,” “El Orfanato,” “The Conjuring,” “The Babadook,” “The Witch,” “The Exorcist,” “Get Out,” “The Ring,” and all of the “Screams.” I refuse to watch scary movies alone, though, so I highly recommend recruiting some trusted family or friends for emotional protection.
On Costuming
Now this is where I really nail it. I promise you I should have at least a part time job as a “costume idea-er.”
I’ve dressed up for Halloween pretty much my entire life. There was a break somewhere around middle school/high school because I was told teenagers don’t trick-or-treat, but luckily my senior year some of my friends and I rebelled against that, although, I dressed as your traditional ghost in a sheet to hide my true 17-year-old identity.
As a child, I went through a lame period when I begged my mom to buy me a plastic store costume and I was a bride. But for the most part Mom helped me come up with some cool ideas. I was a book one year. Yep, total nerd. And a witch, I think a couple or few times. A clown. I can’t quite remember what else. Probably because growing up in northern Michigan, you trick-or-treated with your costume hidden under your winter coat and possibly snow pants, flashing your neighbors real quick for some of that candy.
It was in college and beyond that I really came into my own as a Halloween costume expert. It started freshman year when I borrowed a friend’s pink sweatsuit, tied a sneaker to my head (probably without washing the sole), and was bubble gum under a shoe.
I discovered the trick is to think outside of the box. Now I love puns as much as the next person (Okay, far more.), but if you’re going to go punny, you’ve got to step it up a notch. “It’s raining men,” while cute, is overplayed. Take something pop culture or historically or politically relevant and turn it on its head. Make a statement.
Some of my favorites have been “Yer mom!,” a mermaid affected by an oil spill, a sexy lamp (Because no one’s ever a sexy inanimate object.) that everyone thought was the leg lamp from “A Christmas Story (Didn’t think of that.),” Louise Belcher from Bob’s Burgers, a Dodger dog, and last year, a basic witch. And the one the most people still talk about was a play on SNL’s skit “D&$# in a Box” using a fake chest in a box, which won me best costume at a massive costume party.
So think creative. And if you need ideas, contact me.
I also dressed up as a lego person to pay homage to my favorite childhood toy.
On Candy and Trick-or-Treating
I have a sugar addiction, which I like to think I try to reign in much of the year, but Halloween is not the time for that. Still, one huge tip I have is not to buy it so far in advance that you eat it all before you even get trick-or-treaters. And don’t be those people that hand out apples. Which we probably can’t even do anymore anyway due to fear.
Toothbrushes I think are kind of funny, but give some candy along with them. The good stuff. None of those faux peanut butter twisted thingys in orange and black wrappers if they still exist. I’ve never known what they’re called, but they suck.
Pass it out to the teenagers too, if they knock, are dressed up, and polite. Heck, even if they’re not dressed up, at least they aren’t TPing your property. Give ‘em candy. The adults too, if any come around. We’re all kids at heart and it’s good for our mental health to indulge our inner child. This is me mostly grooming the world for my return to trick-or-treating.
On Parties
I have two Halloween parties to go to tomorrow and just came up with my Halloween costume last night. It was starting to stress me out because my reputation for creative Halloween costumes adds some pressure each year to not be lame. Luckily, in this area, I often work best under pressure. The costume is a secret, but let’s just say, I’m excited for the parties.
As I mentioned above, I’ve thrown some good ones and been to some good ones. A highlight is one my friend, Sarah, threw in 6th grade in her garage. For hours it was just us kids, eating, talking, dancing, laughing, jumping on a life size scarecrow. Then, all of a sudden the scarecrow leaped up and come to find out, it was Sarah’s mom! Still, one of my favorite Halloween memories and something I think about every year around this time. And wonder how her mom wasn’t injured by our shenanigans.
That’s never been outdone, but even as adults, you can still throw a solid Halloween party. Whether it’s grown-ups only, for the kids, or a family fun, here’s my very brief guide:
Invite enough fun, creative people. The worst would be if no one showed up in costume. Just make that a requirement. Some people need the extra guidance.
Have enough delicious food, beverages, and of course, treats and candy. Bonus points if it’s Halloweened themed. (https://www.womansday.com/food-recipes/food-drinks/g2497/halloween-party-food/)
Decorate! Dollar stores have some great stuff. And things that you can keep year after year too. It doesn’t have to cost you much at all. Or make your own. Again, creativity wins this holiday. And keep your lighting low. A little creep goes a long way.
Have games. You’re never too old for games. Bob for apples, pin the nose on the witch, pumpkin carving contest, whatever, they’re fun, and if you can’t have fun, you shouldn’t be hosting a party.
Play a scary movie in the background. Just be aware of your population. If it’s kid friendly, maybe something more Hocus Pocus than Child’s Play.
Put together a Halloween music/sounds playlist. Set the mood.
Okay, folks, now I’ve got to put my costume together so get on out there and Halloween it up!