I had a whole other post to share. But it’s been quite a week. After quite a week. After quite a month. After quite a year. After quite a lifetime for some people. The other post, on the illusion of control, I’ll get to at some point, but I don’t want acceptance to be confused with not taking action to right a wrong.
In this very gray world, there simply are things that are right and things that are wrong. Or maybe helpful and harmful are better adjectives. There are ways to treat a person that are right (helpful) and ways to treat a person that are wrong (harmful). There are words that are helpful and words that are harmful. There are policies that are helpful and policies that are harmful. There are reactions that are helpful and reactions that are harmful.
It isn’t always easy to make the right/helpful choice. I sure as heck don’t always do it. It can be much easier to blame others. To lash out. To not take responsibility for ourselves. To not take action. Projection is a protection that’s as old as the psyche.
But change is needed. Everyone is angry. Everyone is sad. Everyone is ready. I don’t know how to make such massive change happen, but I know a few things we could all do that might ease the process.
Go within.
“Projection is a protection that’s as old as the psyche.”
You need to be real with yourself. It’s time to stop avoiding.
Take responsibility.
For your anger. For the stories you’ve bought into. For all that you cover up, the beliefs, the bias, the prejudice. For the pain and harm you’ve caused others. For the pain and harm you’ve done to yourself.
Come face to face with the fear within. Whether it’s fear that someone will hurt you because of how you look. Or fear that you’ll lose your privilege when there's a truly level playing field. Or any other fear.
Look for your truth. Not what you claim to be the truth, that's actually a cover for insecurity and hate. But actual, real truth. The hard stuff. The dark stuff. The stuff we hide from.
Know what’s actually your stuff and handle it. Find peace within. Admit the truth. You don’t have to share any of it with anyone if you don’t want to, but do it. Learn to freaking love yourself. Because no one else wants to (or can) deal with your stuff for you.
Take Action
Posting on social media is all fine and dandy.
Seriously.
It’s a quick and easy way to share information (Factual information please.). To spread a message and see who’s aligned with it. To gather and organize.
“Apathy is the glove in which evil slips its hand (No idea who said that, but I like it.). ”
But that can’t be the end all be all. Posting something in and of itself doesn’t lead to lasting change. Consistent action in the real world is what leads to change.
And dialogue is great too.
Real, true dialogue. Not hobby-like complaining that doesn’t lead to anything substantial.
We need to have the tough conversations. We need to be courageous enough to share our truth even when we don’t know how others will react. And even more importantly, we need to know when to be quiet and open to hearing others’ truths. We have to get comfortable with listening to things we might not like hearing and taking what we heard into real consideration.
Let go of assumptions. Ask people what they need. Know what you need.
We need to get real with others, just like ourselves. To challenge ourselves to be better. To more deeply understand and connect with one another. We can’t just blindly accept what confirms our long held beliefs and biases.
But don’t just talk about it. Be about it.
Stand up for others. If you see someone being treated in a way you wouldn’t want to be treated or want your loved ones to be treated, IT IS your responsibility to say or do something. Apathy is the glove in which evil slips its hand (No idea who said that, but I like it.).
“When it comes down to it we all just want to be seen, heard, and understood, and treated with love and respect.”
While quiet and stillness are necessary to know oneself deeply, too much quiet and stillness can easily be confused with support for the status quo.
So do something. Anything. As long as it’s inspired from a place of love and genuine desire to make things better for all, it will make a difference. It might be marching. It might be creating, distributing, or signing petitions. It might be calling or writing politicians and other people in power. It might be providing services to others. It might be creating or running programs. It might be simply sitting with a friend or random stranger when they most need you. It might be something else entirely.
True action is a lifestyle. Not a one time deal when something big happens in the news. We should always be mindful of our actions and whether they’re in line with our morals and values. We should always take care of one another because we need each other. None of us can do this life thing on our own. And we all benefit from equality.
When it comes down to it we all just want to be seen, heard, and understood, and treated with love and respect. It’s that simple.