It’s been a stressful year, to say the least.
It’s been a minute, huh?
These last few months took quite a bit out of me. So I went into Internet hibernation. For the most part.
Initially I thought I had a pretty good handle on this here pandemic. As much as anyone possibly can.
There were some bummers involved, of course, but the worst things that could happen luckily haven’t happened to me.
Overall, life’s been good. Making lemonade out of lemons (Boozy lemonade possibly, but lemonade nonetheless.). Taking a timeout, being with myself, going within, slowing down, getting back to basics, spending time outdoors, upping my bread game, and finding creative ways to connect with loved ones. Playing far more trivia than I ever have in my life.
I had this!
But a lot of other people have not had this.
If you’ve ever listened to John Mulaney’s “The Salt and Pepper Diner” comedy bit about the best meal he’s ever had, my favorite line is, “People went fucking insane. No one could handle it. No one could handle it!” (That won’t give anything away if you haven’t listened to it and I highly recommend that you do because it might be the most hilarious thing ever.).
No one could handle it!
This perfectly encapsulates how well many people have handled this monkey wrench of a year.
And I get it.
We’re confronting the illusion of control many of us have managed to avoid for so long. COVID has taken away the distractions we’ve used to avoid looking at our dark sides so now we have little choice but to fully face those demons. We’re feeling more pain and discomfort than we’ve allowed ourselves to feel before. And if there’s anything I’ve learned throughout my life and career, it’s that the human population doesn’t deal with those emotions very well.
So as the world has burnt down around us (Both literally and metaphorically.) and people avoided their feelings by being nastier than normal, I’ve struggled to know what to do with it. I both get it and also have no more patience for it. The hope I held onto in the beginning has waned, even knowing that true change is often rife with discomfort.
It’s been all I could manage to be there for my loved ones, clients, and those actually suffering through this. My empathy for those complaining about having to think about someone other than themselves has disappeared.
Still, I fought against even the thought of taking a break. There were people who needed me. Causes that needed me.
But I needed me too. And had to remind myself that breaks are necessary no matter what’s going on. I’m of no use to anyone or anything if I’m burned out. So I’ve been taking breaks, these kind of breaks:
Vacation Breaks
Floating down a river is my idea of a good vacation break.
Road tripping into the depths of wilderness is about as much travel as we can get right now (And some of my favorite anyway.). So I go completely off the grid as much as I can. Sometimes on my own, sometimes with my man and dog. For a few hours, a day, many days. Up to the peaks of mountains where my dog attempted to throw me off the side. Deep into a forested gorge with nothing but the heat, trees, trails, and a river to entertain us. A tiny beach town whose cool air and gray haze courted us. A reservoir that didn’t allow swimming during the most massive heat wave, but still entertained with breathtaking sunsets.
Internet Breaks
I try to limit the news I consume, social media I peruse, and whatever else the Internet consists of. I haven’t cut it out completely, but more so look at it like the master cleanse detox with some food thrown in because, hey, you need some nutrients to survive.
I’m not perfect at this. Sometimes I fall down that rabbit hole. But I know I feel better when I consume less uneducated opinions. I try to stay mindful. I still take in all sides, but filter it through resources that actually do their research rather than vapid meme postings. And since nothing changes as quickly as we’d like to think it does, I limit how often I go on and for how long.
Meditation Breaks
I meditate pretty much daily. Not always for a long time. Quiet has always been necessary for me. But even more so lately. So I give myself that. Not every meditation looks the same. Lately I’ve gotten into guided ones and chanting mantras, but I usually prefer simply focusing on my breath. I can do this anytime. I like to do it as soon as I wake to set myself up for the day. But if I don’t have (or make) the time, I make the time later on. I take breathes between clients or activity changes. These mini meditations cleanse me of what came before and prepare me for what’s next.
Self-care Breaks
This is about right.
Self-care doesn’t have to cost a thing. Or take much time. It’s just a way of treating yourself like you love yourself. I make sure to do the standard sleep enough, eat well (enough), and exercise plenty. I write (Even if you haven’t seen it!), read, bake, play games, watch movies, have spa night in the bathtub, paint my nails, make artsy/crafty things. Sometimes I cook, sometimes we order in. I try to ask myself as often as I can, “What do I need right now?” and give myself whatever the response is. Sometimes it’s a swift kick to the rear to get something responsible done. Sometimes it’s not responding to an email because every robo-emailer doesn’t deserve my time. Sometimes it’s an ice cream cone. Self-care is about knowing what you need and making that happen.
Mix Up the Routine Breaks
2020 has been a strange combo of Groundhog’s Day and every action thriller/alien invasion movie ever rolled into one. When it’s Groundhog Day again it’s really important to change things up. Move your home office for the day, walk a different route, put on real life clothes, work on different projects. This last one has been big for me. It took awhile to get the motivation, but I’ve started tackling some things I’ve had in the mental works for an embarrassingly long amount of time. I’m not quite ready to share them yet, but the anticipation of what they could mean keeps me going during the mundane.
Guilt is often the culprit getting in the way of taking breaks. It can seem unimportant to take care of yourself when others seem to be struggling so much more. The thing is, there’s always going to be disease of some kind, something to protest, and unfairness in this world. I hate this to the depths of my bones, but it’s also reality.
That’s not to say you shouldn’t fight the good fight, stand up for what’s right, and donate your time, energy, and resources, but you also have to make sure you have them to give. We can only give to others when we’ve given to ourselves first. Expecting others to take care of us will only lead to disappointment.
Taking breaks to recharge is the best way to do this. We can only consume so much information, especially of the negative kind, we can only be there for so many people, we can only fight so many good fights. Each of us is only one person. And none of us are superhuman, far as I know. So we have to do what we can do and have faith that others will do what they can do. After the break...