Being Our Own Worst Enemy

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It’s been an even busier past few weeks for me than usual. I didn’t think that was physically possible but as I learn over and over and over again, my assumptions will always be tested, so I shouldn’t be surprised.

During this increased state of busyness (Is that a legit word?) you may (or may not) have noticed that I haven’t written a blog post. And since creating at least one post a week was a goal of mine, I’ve been judging myself for not being able to churn anything even crappy out.

In between judging myself, breathing, and attempting to prioritize what’s most important in my life, I decided that I can always write a short bIog post. I don’t always have to write one that’s long and brilliant. Just write something, anything!

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I was also reminded of how often we can be our own worst enemy. At the end of 2017, I got a lot of feedback from the powers that be that I needed to make some changes to how I was operating in life. The words “ease” and “abundance” kept popping up so I adopted them as something of a 2018 intention/mantra.

The irony (because there’s always irony) is that this busyness is the result of an overwhelming amount of abundance in both my professional and personal lives. Exactly what I was going for! Really, what we all want.

Yet, instead of doing a happy dance, I’d been rushing around, worrying about how I was going to fit it all in, and feeling more resentment than joy and appreciation.

That’s when it hit me. There was a reason I combined “abundance” with “ease.” Abundance without ease isn’t any fun. It’s exhausting and doesn’t seem like abundance at all.  

I actually find the ridiculousness of it all quite hilarious, which has eased the worry. Even when things are going well for ourselves, we can still find ways to sabotage it if we aren’t paying attention.

I want all these amazing things in my life and I’d like even more to come, so I’d better dang well appreciate them before they disappear never to return.

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There it is, I’m getting out of my own way.

I still probably have too much going on, but I don’t want to cut anything yet (and some of the more time consuming projects are almost complete) so I’m going to relax into it. Stop rushing around and really feel the gratitude for it. Enjoy every moment in the moment. Whether it’s writing this, writing something else, being with a client, being with loved ones, it’s all the good stuff life is truly about. And I don't want to miss any of the good stuff.