We often think of mindfulness as only focusing on exactly what’s happening in the present moment. However, the definition that’s used in mindfulness research is “the self-regulation of attention with an attitude of curiosity, openness, and acceptance.” This is helpful because at times it’s necessary for our attention to be focused on the past and/or preparing for the future. If we never reflect on our thoughts, feelings, behaviors, and experiences, we’d never learn from them. And if we never thought about our hopes, dreams, and plans for the future we’d have nothing to live for.
On Hygge: The Winter 2019 Edition
I know it’s technically still autumn and here on the southern California coast, autumn is about as winter as we get, but I can’t help myself. I’ve been winter hyggeing hard since Thanksgiving. I’m also one of those people who refuses to recognize the winter holidays until the day after Thanksgiving (No hating on those who jump right in after Halloween. Whatever makes you happy.) so once that day hits I get my holiday on. And this year I’ve really upped my winter and holiday enjoyment. It’s been one heck of a year and I’m desperately needing the self-care. So here’s what I’ve been up to in hopes it inspires some cozy and joyous good times for you as well.
Mindful Monday: Gratitude Walks
A “gratitude walk” (or run, bike ride, drive, whatever) is like mindful walking, but takes it up a notch. It’s setting the intention to notice things in the moment that you like and appreciate around you as you move.
On Treating Yo' Self... For Free
So I started thinking about how to treat myself without spending as much money. Then I started thinking about how some people literally have zero extra dollars to spend on anything other than the necessities so how can they treat themselves for free. And even if we have that extra money, spending it doesn’t always equal true indulgence. I won’t bore you with the entire thought process, but eventually I got to the place where I started thinking about how we can treat yo’ selves whether we have money or not.
On Kindness
This past Wednesday, November 13th was World Kindness Day. According to Wikipedia, it was introduced in 1998 by the World Kindness Movement, a coalition of nations' kindness NGOs. The Wikipedia page is short and it doesn’t seem like many countries officially observe it, but everyone should because kindness is something we could all use a bit more of.
On PTSD Support for Veterans
Sometimes saying thank you never feels like enough. So this Veteran’s Day I’d like to also be of service. Approximately 11-30% of veterans suffer from PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder) and many more experience other mental health issues. While PTSD is becoming more commonly talked about, many still don’t know much about it and many suffer in silence.
On Goodbyes (How to Mourn Anything and Everything)
This is why mourning is so important, even though it’s not something we talk much about in this larger Western culture. We think of mourning as that thing that happens after a death or the end of a romantic relationship. But mourning is a constant process as we’re always losing things that are important (to varying degrees) to us.
Mindful Monday: How to Accept Things
Last week I talked more about what acceptance actually is. Which is all great and dandy. But how the heck do we do it?
There was a point in my life, before I became an acceptance master. Who am I kidding?! I’m a hard core work in progress on this one.
But there was a point when I didn’t understand this concept in the slightest. So what did I do? What any modern day human does; I googled “how to accept things.” And every other form of that phrase I could think of. I’m nothing if not thorough in my research. But it didn’t help at all. Google failed me! I was no closer to knowing how to accept anything.
On Dirty Laundry: Mental And Emotional Cleansing
So as I washed this laundry - by hand- I felt a little more free with every clean item. And with that freedom came thoughts and inspiration. I thought about how physical dirty laundry is a metaphor for mental and emotional dirty laundry. The thoughts, beliefs, emotions, regrets, resentment, fears that we carry around in the backs of our minds at all times, not dealing with them, not cleaning them out.
Mindful Monday: Acceptance Doesn't Mean Letting Bad Things Happen
Acceptance has been on my mind more than usual lately as I’ve struggled to accept certain things in my life and the world as a whole. I’ve also noticed people around me and society as a whole struggle to accept what is. Through these observations, I realized that even though I’ve mentioned acceptance in many of my writings, I’ve never actually defined it or gone into much depth as to what I mean when I say acceptance.
On How to Halloween Harder: An Ode to Halloweens Past
Halloween is one of my favorite holidays ever (Tied with or just behind Thanksgiving. I can never decide.). The opportunity to be someone or something else, spiking that adrenaline with a little (or big) scare, and candy. Lots of candy. Also, it usually doesn’t come with the same loaded issues other holidays bring up. It’s just plain fun.
Mindful Monday: Complaining
Mindful Monday: Listening to Others
Listening seems like it should be the easiest thing to do. If we’re lucky enough to have our hearing intact, we take sounds in all day long, whether we want to or not. Isn’t that listening?
Not exactly. That’s hearing. Aka perceiving sound. Listening is paying attention to what is heard. Much more difficult.
Mindful Monday: Mindfulness of Emotions
I’ve been feeling some things the last day or so. By things, I mean emotions. More uncomfortable emotions than I’d care to feel. There’s some good ol’ sadness, anger, and resentment mixed in with a bit of fear and regret. I’d rather not feel this way so there’s been some resistance to feeling them. Which is never helpful. But alas I’m as human as the next person, no matter how much I try to fight it.
On Creating Your Own Magic
Sometimes, okay, often, I can get caught up in the day-to-day obligations or wish that things were different. Easier, more exciting, more abundant, more magical. Lately, the desire for magic has had a starring role in my thoughts. The wanting to experience that feeling of seeing a firefly soar around the night sky for the first time as a child over and over and over.
Mindful Monday: Reality Bites and How to be Mindful of Our Thoughts
This morning I woke up from a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad dream. I won’t get into the details because it’s way too long and complicated, and the details are becoming more fuzzy as the day goes on, as often happens with dreams. But it was rough. And I dream deeply. There’s nothing lucid for me. I’m wholly in another reality, another dimension, entirely believing it to be the truth, no matter how strange it is. I often wake from these dreams incredibly relieved that it’s only a dream. Although, sometimes it takes me hours to connect back to waking reality and regroup from the emotions I experienced during it.
On Hygge: The Fall 2019 Edition
Aw yeah, it’s finally autumn!!! Or fall. Whatever you wanna call it. The three exclamation points shows how supremely excited I am for my favorite season. It hasn’t quite felt like autumn here and we had a cooler summer than the last couple years so who knows if that’s over. Sometimes hot weather can last well into October. So it’s all very confusing. Nonetheless, I’m determined to start embracing it immediately.
Mindful Monday: Cultivating Gratitude
This past Saturday, September 21, 2019 was World Gratitude Day. I’m a couple days past acknowledging this, but gratitude isn’t reserved for simply this one day (and Thanksgiving). Gratitude is an incredibly important daily practice that can drastically improve life quality.
On Loving Our Environment
A week long global climate strike has started today. It might seem odd to write about the environment on a therapist’s blog, but when it comes down to it our environment greatly influences our mental health and overall well-being. Also, I am an outdoor therapist so it makes sense.
What Mindfulness Actually Is (And How to Practice It IRL)
I recently realized that as much as I talk about the importance of being mindful, I haven't been so mindful of explaining what the heck mindfulness actually is. And how to do it. Thus, I committed the cardinal sin of mindfulness. Assuming. I figured because "mindfulness" is so hot these days that everyone already knows what it is. But come to find out, not so much.